What God has Joined Together

By Arptas de Najraham.

The opinions expressed in this essay are solely those of Arptas de Najraham.

Nobody likes the way things are supposed to be. The perfect thing for people to do is to be in absolute awe of God and worship Him with all our hearts, minds, and strength; but we do not do that. We aspire to do that but gradually get distracted with the things of the world. Since the fall, nothing has been the way it was supposed to be: our relationship with God, the way we are to relate with people in perfect love and respect, nothing!

Christians, who believe that God has not condemned homosexuality, should know that God has not said anywhere that homosexual marriage is allowed either. In our sinfulness, we people have created idols and worshiped them as gods. Similarly, homosexual unions have followed that trend. Heterosexual union is what God intended, but sub-images of marriage have corrupted that holy union. Therefore, though authors Myer and Scanzon have made an affirmative biblical, psychological, and sociological case for the goodness of gay marriage, I take the courage to differ and say that goodness does not necessarily mean right.

I recall a friend, who once shared an analogy between religion and food: A healthy, balanced diet is what our bodies need, but we are happy consuming junk food. Junk food does satiate our hunger, but it is not what our body really needs. Similarly, relationship with a higher being is what our soul craves for, but people have superficially fulfilled that through other religions. The real relationship that our soul needs is with Jesus. However, Satan has been successful so far to feed the majority with sub-images of that relationship just as junk food has satisfied our nutritional needs.

Myer and Scanzoni’s argument is that “marriage is inherently healthy, same-sex marriage will be healthier than its less permanent alternatives”.[1] Thus, their argument is not against heterosexual marriage, but same-sex marriage as a healthier than unsuccessful heterosexual union in the form of marriage, co-habitation, or domestic partnership.

Myer and Scanzoni have very well presented the beauty and success of a loving monogamous marriage in the union of either heterosexual couple or homosexual. Reading and observing the messiness of co-habitation, domestic partnerships, and other “marriage-lite” alternatives of marriage, a committed, loving gay and straight marriages are contributing to sound marital journey. I whole-heartedly agree with the authors’ observations that heterosexual unions have not been any less of an issue in increasing the problems of the society. Divorces, single-parent children, rape, domestic violence etc. are few issues that pervade families of heterosexual couples. Fair enough that, at present, statistics does not show similar problems in homosexual unions, because the percentiles of such unions are less, and to prove their commitment they stay harmoniously united too. Thus, the problems caused within heterosexual families cannot be compared with families made of homosexual parents.

Compare this condition of marriage with biblical history. Over time, people were only sinning more and more. Now we perceive that over time marriage is only seeing more and more of its degradation from its original form. This world is imperfect. We know that since the fall, the world has never been the way it was meant to be. Marriage has been one of the distortions that have heavily suffered too.

Anti-gay individuals and conservative worldviews of marriage are right in their position because heterosexual unions have worked for them. However, we cannot deny the overweighing evidence that people have not chosen to be homosexuals, but there are some biological influences. For homosexual, to be with a partner not of his choice is equally painful as being in a heterosexual union where there is no love between the two.

The Bible presents the marriage institution as the way it ought to be. Yet, we also have to understand that sin has pervaded every area of our lives. Homosexual activities are just one of the distortions that have confronted us. Immorality and sexual perversion have been sins that have hurt our societies. In spite of God’s admonishing that these are to be stopped, these are prevalent even among the Bible believing Christians. We acknowledge that the Spirit of God is able to help us deliver from such sinfulness, yet we have not achieved that. Similarly, only the Spirit of God is able to convict a person’s heart to recognize the distortion as one of the results of the fall.

The authors have cited numerous experiences of people who have genuinely wanted to reverse their sexuality but have devastatingly failed. It only ascertains to me how strongly Satan has held on to this Holy union. Marriage is the image that God has given us to compare His love for us, His church. And this is the very area that Satan has actively wanted to destroy. Satan’s purpose, after all, is to mystify this institution so much that it will be hard to distinguish from what is real and what is not. Homosexual marriage is directing toward achieving this goal.

It is commendable that gay marriages have been exemplifying successful marriages. Gay couples have also been extraordinarily compassionate to adopt children who have been ruthlessly ignored, and they have raised mentally sound children. Creating successful marriages, being compassionate, and raising competent children are not result of a certain union but are mostly influenced by parent’s conviction, temperament and the child’s predisposed attributes as well.

I agree that a healthy and committed marriage contributes a lot in the mental and physical well being of people; so by denying the same for homosexual population, the society is not being just. Love between any two individuals or among individuals creates conducive environment to live in. However, the distinction between homosexual love and heterosexual love to desire for marriage are completely different.  Thus, I propose that if same-sex individuals are sexually attracted so much to be married, then that union should be given a different term, rather than marriage. Marriage is a holy union between a man and a woman as created by God.

Finally and personally, if emotionally and sexually bound same-sex people want to live together for life and raise children that should be sincerely respected. We are not called to judge others. Nonetheless, I do take the stand that homosexual union should not be viewed and accepted as reverentially as a marriage between two loving and committed heterosexual partners.



[1] David G. Myers and Letha Dawson Scanzoni, What God has Joined Together: The Christian Case for Gay Marriage (San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 2005), 130.

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